Small and fragile and precious… reflections from a contemplative heart…

Good morning, friends. With the Swede back in Sweden-land (shhh.. it’s a suprise for his family, but I’m sure my readership of 9? won’t say anything on the Book of Faces), I’ve finally gotten the quiet time I needed to update this blog. I’ve drafted a few prior posts for the Land of Academic Wunder, but time has a way of drifting into oblivion here in Brazil. They say Brazilians rush to wait, which I am starting to understand. They do a lot of silly things fast, like driving, only to wait in long car queues. Time is sticky here, sticky and gooey and stretched. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense and this is all to say, Hi! I’m finally delivering a post.


On the 23rd of May I went back to the US for a conference, which just so happened to be in Washington, with a handful of events at the Town of George and the rest at a hotel in Adams Morgan. Going back to the States was utterly blissful. I love my country regardless of how many years I spend wandering the world. However, it was a funny thing to return to Washington. You see, dear friends, I’ve kind of been fixated on DC since, um, forever. Living there was the fulfillment of a multi-lingual, internationalized dream for me. An international relations major in college, I’ve dedicated the majority of the last 14 years to being global. What better place to be global and live in the US, than DC. All said and done it was 3.5 years and the last time I left for Brazil, it was honestly a little rough.


However, going back there after living in calm and time-sucking Brazil, it felt crowded, noisy, stressful. A friend of mine and I were commenting that few people move to DC to live. They move there to career build. Few stay for jobs beyond the 5-year mark. Heck, that’s probably what I’ll arrive at when achieving the Dr.C title. In DC you don’t linger, you trek. In DC you don’t ponder, you conclude. In DC you don’t mingle, you market yourself. All of these things are hard on the contemplative heart. In Brazil, despite all of the challenges, you have a lot of time to listen. to stop. to watch. to linger. Of course, this has a lot to due with my current circumstances, which are filled with writing my thesis and auditing ONE class. With that said, time does pass differently here. I feel removed, feel set apart, separated. On a different clock and following a distinct calendar.


Anyway, this is all to say that after a lovely time in the States, I’m back to a newly appreciated Brazil. It struck me a few times in my short stay in the US that I live in Brazil. I don’t just travel there, this ain’t no honeymoon folks, as prior posts reflect. This is the real deal. I live here and that is brave and mighty and awesome. This opportunity is tremendous. I should not take it for granted. I should not sulk, nor waste time wishing I were back in a place that is probably less healthy for my contemplative heart. I should be here, and I am here, now. Of course, our trip to the coast a few days after my return to Brasilia also helped. So did the white-sanded beaches, so did the aquamarine water and my time catching up with a Brazilian friend I made 8 years ago in Germany. The world is small, my loves. It is small and fragile and precious. And I am incredibly lucky to have seen so much of it.


That is all.


From a finally grateful,

Ms. C


2 thoughts on “Small and fragile and precious… reflections from a contemplative heart…

  1. You are very right about DC – you work to be able to sort of afford to live there. It’s crazy hectic and people are so unhappy. Living in the midwest has been therapeutic. Hope you’re doing well, friend!

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