Getting real with you…

Wow.  A long time has passed. Instead of lamenting this fact, here goes. So, I finished my second year of course work, did some aforementioned relaxing, and then traveled to San Francisco for the second most significant conference of our discipline. LASA (Latin American Studies Association).  After that comes some not so pleasant news that I considered not writing about here, but thankfully my readership is very small so there isn’t much harm I suppose. I suppose I would ask you (as if that’s ever possible in the internets) to keep it to yourselves, though I suppose by writing these words I am already exposing myself to a circle that is hard to control. On the other hand, I was never for writing only about the shiny and pretty stuff, and tried to reflect it for what it is- a mix of lovely with a touch of mania, anxiety and darkness.

 

So, here goes- After six years together, the Swede and I took a bit of a break at the end of May to the middle of June, about 3 weeks in total. It was a much-contemplated move and I think they were three weeks well spent, though emotionally we were both a wreck. I have been doing my own therapy across the last 18 months, some of which the Swede participated in. Now we are seeing someone together, whom neither of us has met previously. The love and loyalty continue and really want to make it work, so I am optimistic. I don’t want to go into more detail than that, as this is my first post on this (and perhaps my last- though that is still t.b.d.), but know that I am fairing well. We love and respect each other deeply after all this time together. I hope that no matter what becomes of us, we will still continue on this healthy path, one of deep appreciation and caring.

 

I could go on about the fact that I spent 3 weeks in Ohio (mostly in a state of mourning the separation and flying both ways there and back to DC- sorry Sarsie for the lack of a visit- sorry, Ms.Rose for the lack of a dinner date in CLE, see above). I could tell you that I have been exceedingly lazy academically due to the above, some of which has been great. I could tell you that since I’ve been back things have started to feel really good again, with us taking a small trip to VA beach, Baltimore Aquarium, or that I start teaching next Monday, the 9th. Or that I pushed my dissertation exam date back by 3 months (from August do December, due to aforementioned emotional challenges). Or that I won a one week fellowship to go to San Paulo in August.

 

Yet, all of that is trumped, colored, influenced, at times tainted and since then guided by the above. All else feels rather trivial to write here. So I will leave you with a huge hug, and a thank you for reading. I hope I have more sunny tales to narrate the next time we cross paths on the blogosphere. Thank you for reading.

 

With love,

Ms. M

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